You Will Be

You Will Be

Thermodynamics, first law will not lie.

Your energy will never, ever die.

The Universe has constant energy.

Not created, nor destroyed; you will be.

Every photon that leapt off all your hair,

Ricocheted all around, up in the air.

My eyes, particle sensors, collect;

Photons that have sprung from you, perfect.

The particle paths shattered by your laugh,

Trillions led by your choreograph.

Electromagnetic constellations,

You have made, will thrive through generations.

All the warmth that flowed through you, before death,

Transformed to heat-energy in my breath.

Faith, you are an angel is on my mind.

Laws of Conservation make you defined.

Measured across space and time, precisely;

constant conservation of energy.

Physics tells me you will be gone, never.

Your energy will live on, forever.

The idea in the poem above stemmed from a scientists idea/speech, and the sudden passing of a family friend, my sisters best friend we all love very much. In reality, they probably would have thought it was a little intense and weird, want to laugh over a glass of wine with extra frosting on cinnamon rolls, copious amount of German chocolate bars, surrounded by cats and Reese’s; but at the same time love the principle of it. My sister ran a very impressive half marathon in celebration of her life, which is absolutely fierce. I wish that I could have been there to cheer her on, but I was in school up in Maine texting her "You’re beautiful and running extraordinarily fast like a bonnie!” We have run so much together, nothing made me feel cooler than running and moving them into an apartment. Poetry can be a beautiful part of a healing process, whether it makes you laugh or cry for good reasons and bad, it’s a positive thing to share with the group, there’s all sorts of people in the group. Everyone in the group is an important member and has something valid to contribute when things happen in life. Ashley’s garden of trees is very beautiful, lovely, and everlasting. I wrote this poem, because the idea corresponds with the true meaning of the garden of trees. Someday, I would actually like to have this poem engraved onto a plaque and placed onto one of the trees in Ashley’s garden; romantic couplets are pretty. Since that is something that I happen to want, it will probably happen.

Here is a link to my interview with my sister Kimmy, from a few years ago, discussing running Division I Cross-Country with Saint Bonaventure University. Ashley, was team captain for the cross-country team, there are a lot of nice pictures of everybody together in this interview. My sister and I did a very nice interview, especially when she finished the Wineglass Half-Marathon.

https://www.thatprettyrunner.com/new-blog/2016/1/23/all-about-kim?rq=kim

https://www.thatprettyrunner.com/journal/2016/10/2/my-sisters-1st-half-marathon-wine-glass?rq=kim

Kimmy looks so happy. Caitlin went to watch her run for me, she was always top three in DI XC & Track. Caitlin’s sister Sarah, was always top three too, she literally won the entire McQuaid Invitational in Rochester one year, now she is a doctor of optometry in NY! The only reason me and Kimmy run the Boilermaker together, is because that is the first race Kimmy ran in celebration of Ashley; one of the first things that made her happy again, like eating brownies with funfetti frosting with the unicorn button, so it is special for me to run with my sister versus in a race. Even running the Boilermaker together, Kimmy finished two steps ahead of me. Ashley, was team captain, because of her amazing inspirational speeches that motivated the entire team; she could speak every language.

No 50 Mile Race for Me.

After running my first marathon, calendar year 17 turned 18, I really wanted to run a fifty mile race. My grandpa helped me register for a 50 mile race on Bear mountain in NY, he paid for it with his credit card. That military man grandpa of mine, thinking I could run a fifty mile race on Bear Mountain back then, he would always stand up when I walked into a room out of respect; something good came of that career of his before becoming a teacher of STEM. Not all men know to stand up when I walk into a room, a woman walking into a room is extremely profound and should be respected, like the respect my grandfather showed for me by always standing upon me walking in the room. Sometimes men just need to go off and learn to stand upon a woman entering a room. No matter how serious his merkel cell carcinoma skin cancer treatment became, during radiation therapy, he always found a way to stand up whenever I walked into the room. That standing ovation, is the reason I am grateful to have always brought him a chocolate milkshake, even if he would not drink the milkshake because the ice cream parlor accidently gave me vanilla instead. My grandfather, adored me sending him Chocolate Pizza Company wings during his cancer treatments, however my grandmother is the one whom actually ate the chocolates.

I trained very hard for this event, but it just did not end up working out. However, I started running ultra distances on weekends, which was pretty impressive. Maybe, someday I will run the fifty mile race, and see how much money I could fundraise doing it, still bothers me that it did not work out. I feel like I can run the marathon distance well and race it, but running 50 miles would be a hard distance for me to actually race. Maybe I could finish it, but I would not finish top 3, I feel it in my heart. Failing something does not mean you are a failure, 50 mile races are just not for me. I run marathons and everything under pretty well, to be experimenting with something else! Though his last Christmas gift to me did not come to fruition, I feel it is a blessing in disguise that I never ran the fifty mile race, my quads would have hurt a lot afterwards. That previous fall of 2013, after completing my Maine Marathon 26.2, I suffered from stress fractures in both feet and my muscles were still glueing back together. Even though I could still run, fifty miles would have been pushing it for me. Bear Mountain will always be a place I never ran the 50 mile race, my grandfather paid for, but that is fine; he would be upset if I ran a race that intense against my will, even in spirit. My grandfather’s funeral was too close to the race weekend, for me to compose myself to run, or have my dad drive me down to the race.

How far can I go? How fast can I go? What distance do I feel good enough to combine those two ideas of long and fast? The marathon distance in over a couple of hours, is my final answer.

The North Face Endurance Challenges, are the events I looked into, and registered for the Bear Mountain 50 mile race in 2014, but it just did not work. Being that I live in NY, it seemed most appropriate out of all the options; easier of a drive than Maine. This race was registered for, far before my Habitat for Humanity trip during my spring break. I really wanted to wear rainbow spandex for the 50 miler, but my sister bought me some for the Boilermaker 15k, we finished hand-in-hand. It was a disaster. However, life moves on. I am good at running marathon road races and on bouncy tracks in race flats.

https://www.thenorthface.com/en_ca/get-outdoors/endurance-challenge.html

Wearing these shoes for my 26.2 mile race in October of 2013, fractured both of my feet, and gave me the worst blisters on the bottoms of my feet ever. If I had worn better shoes, I would not have had stress fractures in either feet, nor needed crutches or an elevator to make it to my British Writers I class freshman year. At least the chevron socks are nice, and I evidently made a friend in the elevator on my way to class right after running my first marathon and tearing every muscle in my body on top of little stress fractures and blisters everywhere on my feet; he knew how to make a freshman girl from NY feel special. I should have an expert scientist explain why these shoes are horrible for running marathons in, and what would happen to a 110 pound girl running 26.2 miles in them at the age of 18; mandate someone carrying my books for that month afterwards. Should I get my cool aunt to get a court order to retroactively mandate someone help with my books on the way to all my classes post first marathon freshman year?! My dad offered to hire someone, but I was too embarrassed to take him up on it, like I was too embarrassed to use the wheelchair at the airport and walked on my crutches to my connecting JFK flight with my backpack on; nevertheless, I managed to make it to my classes and my flights on time. In JFK, I actually let an elderly man have the wheel chair, and my flight was not too far away in another terminal or anything, those airports can be very big or very small depending on the day. My best friend from highschool actually happened to be on my flight from Syracuse to NYC, but she had to go all the way to Greensboro NC, a man was very nice to give up his seat to let us sit together the entire flight. Suppose I could, have it all retroactively. The best way to find a wife is to carry her books after her first marathon whilst wearing the absolutely wrong pair of shoes. Things like that are why I made the big move to NIKE.

So happy NIKE makes more supportive pink marathon sneakers for me now…

You Rise And Become Friends

My First MDI Marathon Back When I Was Twenty…

Now, here in the picture I am 18 miles into my full marathon. The St.Jude announcer of the official cheer station in the MDI MARATHON AND OTHER SANCTIONED EVENTS, thought that I was three miles into my half-marathon. While I needed to talk to my parents about giving me pants and water, he thought I was still on fresh legs. I am going to say it, he yelled at me to keep running and not stop to talk to my parents or smell the roses.

There was a serious conversation about his demeanor, and I suppose whilst in Long Island on a business trip with ‘Miranda Priestly’, I met his good friend (just like the movie). This good friend knew about the race, and did not understand why yelling at me, not to stop for a break with mom and dad 18 miles into a marathon was not okay at all. It was quite the occasion, that made me feel unsatisfied with just my cool aunt giving my allowance to the charity I run a marathon for that year. After being back and forth about what is right and wrong, that announcer learned not to yell anything other than encouraging words to the marathon runners; especially with a microphone! With a heavy heart, we all became friends. You rise above animosity, and look at the big picture in life. You can be friends with all sorts of people in the marathon running world.

Sometimes, I wish my old Olympic weightlifting cross-country coach had been there to cheer me on at that very cheer station, but it is ok that they did not make it to my race; wearing a fur hat with a walking stick. Oscar, would have really enjoyed seeing me earn that singlet and water bottle, one time he met my cool aunt at one of my cross-country invitationals she finally had the chance to watch me run in.

My second time around running MDI was even better, because of that announcer and his friend in Long Island, knowing I was running well ahead of time. Very positive experience to grow through together as friends in the running world circle. I am sure, you all know who I mean.

I made bracelets like these, with St.Jude medals from my church, to make the fundraiser more than just friends and family writing checks. I gave everyone who donated to my online fundraiser, or sent a check, or did anything to support my marathon running and fundraising efforts a bracelet. Sentimental objects and fundraising go together sometimes, all my donors had something to take away from my race weekend other than my race pictures. These bracelets were a real hit at church on Sunday, because of the medal. I even had my uncle whom is a Shriner, donate to St.Jude, shhh don’t tell anyone!

See the medal! I’m not just good at running, I can be crafty too!

I received this baby, after last years MDI Marathon.

Inspirational Run Quotes

Snack for After Running

Whenever you run a half-mile to twenty miles, you should eat a cupcake and a bagel. It is standard. Every runner on the planet insists on eating cupcakes and bagels together!

I love to run into Patisserie in Skaneateles, after running on trails over there, buy a cupcake with lots of frosting. I lick off all the frosting first, so then all that’s left is a healthy muffin and guilt free treat. I love seeing my friend’s moms in there and Chocolate Pizza Company, depending on what treats I’m cheating on my diet with.

As I have traveled with work more through the years, I appreciate my bakeries or chocolate shops near home even more. No one ever offers me the opportunity to purchase overpriced coffee while I wait in line, hahah. One of my biggest pet peeves is people trying to get me to buy things, when I am waiting in a long line! :)

These chocolate, peanut butter covered potato chips are my favorite thing in the entire world. I have to run twenty miles to eat them, or it has to be my birthday. Real potato chip makers, make these babies. Whenever I have my nails done, I need the bigger box of wings.

Destroying Enables Another Life

The sand mandala creation and destruction is one of the most amazing processes to witness. The monks physically place one grain of sand at a time, into a masterpiece over a significant period of time, upon completion through a special ceremony the mandala is deconstructed. A prodigious and abysmal beauty, very significant, the most gorgeous metaphor of life through art. We take the sand, and make a wish whilst throwing it into the ocean.

Better Late Than Never!

I remember when I took all my graduate school exams, and had my high scores. I was so happy that I could finally go somewhere bigger than where I went for undergraduate study. The compromise with my parents was not transferring out, and going where I actually wanted to for graduate school. Studying the subject I wanted to, instead of what snowballed from starting college in the tenth grade and already having two minors upon my freshman year. I thought that it would be the dream to go somewhere bigger, like where a lot of my friends played lacrosse and had the opportunity to study subjects like communications. I feel like all through undergrad, I was just waiting to go somewhere else for grad school, and that’s what I worked towards. Be more than a test score, even if you have the score, and sometimes you receive things in life later than you want them, but everyone evens out. It is not a never ending nightmare, eventually you get what you want, everything evens out or falls into place. Some of my lacrosse friends want to run marathons by the time they are thirty, it’s like we switched places! Running marathons is a very big accomplishment for women, especially by 30ish! It ended up being that my old lacrosse friends do not have an age limit on going to the bigger school for the degree you want, and I do not have an age limit on marathon running. What you want at 18 can happen by 30ish instead, and that’s fine. A friend of mine just played ‘professional soccer’ until 30ish and then finally obtained a more businessy job. I’m giving my old lacrosse friends run-buns and sports-bras, and they are giving me their old sweatshirts. In all seriousness, I love teaching my old lacrosse friends the best way to conquer a twenty six mile event, one of the things I happen to do well.

Not only the entire degree you actually want thing, but I drop the case without a settlement or going to court in the most inconvenient way possible! My little cousin finally mailed me back the ski-jacket she stole from me two years ago! WOW! I wonder what else she’ll mail back to me in the years to come… Do Marc Jacobs bags ever go out of style, like that jacket did? I miss my hot pink bra with lace flowers, and my cheap extra large bella pierced Swarovski earrings.  Can you tell the difference between real diamonds and Swarovski?  I keep them wondering in my professional years.  Will I get everything back one by one over the rest of our lives or did they sell it to buy cool clothes to wear around sorority girls in Florida? I completely understand feeling like you need to be a way around people, but I hope someone learned it can look more pretentious to not wear anything designer or expensive; it drives those girls even crazier than if you had the latest and greatest of it all, dates love that in dates, because it is very funny to make fun of the mean girls being mean. Just recently, I was talking to my buddy about an old party years ago where I wore something simple, and a girl whom wanted to date him made a whole thing about him just hanging out with me, instead of her wearing the couture dress specifically for his party. L'église de la Madeleine, has less pillars than their parents house, by the by, so I mean it whilst saying ‘wear something simple’, no one cares what designer made your dress or if your jewelry is real or imaginary. Imagine having a pillar for every week of the year just like L'église de la Madeleine, to make you feel like a victoria’s secret model right in northern Maine? That is what friends are for, perspective is everything, and it does not matter what you wear as long as it’s the appropriate look for an occasion. Who doesn’t need an ugly ski jacket? All I know is, I do not want to be a land surveyor in Alaska after that trip. I hate small float planes and being in the middle of mountains on islands I cannot leave for long periods of time, not having all the food and water I am used to having in the continental US, or running water and phone service everywhere, flights that are not canceled for days on end, lack of prim and proper gentlemen with an eloquent vocabulary and Nike shorts as a result of it being too freezing all the time. I also do not want to be a stunt skier, jumping out of helicopters, crossed off my list instead of skydiving. At least I finally had my flight, and never had to take a ferry to the mainland and drive all the way through Canada back to NY; good thing I had my passport in the event that happened. My bottom line is too many expensive flights were canceled with zero alternative, because of ‘fog’ I could not see for myself, and Terror Lake is a very unsafe place to go in life. What a temp job to celebrate college graduation that was for me, happy I had my full time job in NY afterwards where better pizza lives and I can go window shopping with my Aunt A. I love this bakery down there, my aunt brought me to for a strawberry cupcake on my birthday, on another birthday my mom tried to mail me strawberry cupcakes, but I had to throw them all away. All in all, I would never pick my horrible cousin in Alaska whom robbed me, over marrying the love of my life, nor let her be a bridesmaid or attend my elopement, ski jacket gesture of apology and all. I really do not need all the money and clothes and accessories she stole to survive, I can replace everything or write myself a check, but she needed to take responsibility and apologize for her sick actions; perhaps participate in some volunteer work similar to what I have out of love and true desire to help people versus punishment. All I could do for that girl is drop charges, appreciating an apology over a lawsuit.

I’ll take sitting in a chair and teaching, maybe research from time to time, coaching running and not running anymore.

FUN THINGS TO DRINK OUT OF!

When I was really sick, to get me to eat and drink, we bought some fun water bottles with straws. It makes you drink more if you have something fun to drink from, such as a straw or patterned glass bottle. I love camelbaks, anything ll bean, or tumblers with straws. It really is helpful to have a fun bottle to drink out-of. I found some nice articles about other people who enjoy a nice bottle to drink water from. People who enjoy water bottles, are all over the world. I specifically buy water for the person behind me sometimes, or an extra if I know I am meeting a friend.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbes-personal-shopper/2020/07/21/best-water-bottle-reusable-water-bottles/?sh=2b4e31c31d8c

https://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/best-cheap-water-bottles-under-15

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/03/11/water-americas-favorite-drink/1978959/