I was so happy when there were sunflowers instead of snow. The only things that motivate me are eventually obtaining my phd and running marathon PR's… Treadmill running is not as fun as running outside in fine weather. If fall marathon season does not work out, I think I’ll just retire from running with my book and just do my brainy job, atleast I made marathon running stretch almost ten years. What a disaster not running olympic trials or boston last year was for me, nevertheless I might just be ok with my fastest times and not care where they were after all. At the same time the only reason I ran so much was to do trials, so that was significantly disappointing, but nothing is pointless when you’re working really hard or building character. Atleast at this point in life I could do stationary bike for two weeks and run within a minute of my half marathon PR and it is really not a big deal, so that’s cool. My coach always tells me I’m still young, but I have been at it a longer than they were and I won’t run anymore when I’m their age. It really is not healthy to keep training to run a marathon well, because knees are like brakepads on a car, your cartilage never comes back, and I need to wear heels to my brainy job because I love them so much. Decisions, decisions… 👡 I've never been cookie cutter, but I’m always close enough. You never know! I'll be signing my books with gold sharpie before we know it, do it all for the fans. 😊

Don’t let the marathon gods disrupt your life by making you run another four years. It took me a while to get over being upset about not running trials and boston last year as my ending with a bang, but I have run fast so many times in other races it’s baisically the same thing as accomplishing those two. It’s okay to drop the rope, and be satisfied with everything you’ve already done. I look at it like it would have been a great victory lap to a ten year running journey of marathons, but it is not a problem at all, I have already run enough. Everything else to come is just a bonus. 🤞😻

All those hundreds of miles thinking one thing would happen and something else did. Would I have run that much if I knew those races were not happening? Absolutely not. I would have lounged around doing nothing instead of running, like a normal person, had I known those races would not happen for me last year. However, I have all my fast times and medals and just need to not care what happened to not work out, look at what did. My office looks so nice with all my medals and framed degrees. 🎷 No one but me ever looks at it all, but that is fine. 🙈 It is funny, I worked so hard for those medals, but I have no emotion looking at them or touching them after the fact. My poor quads running marathons in under three hours, or barefoot feet running on the beach too far... all those years. What's your favorite medal?! Mine is probably NOLA, because it’s how I got over not running NYC after summer altitude training in the middle of nowhere without food delivery… 17-21 were my best marathon years for sure, everything after that was overkill. Maybe I’ll meet someone so I can travel without running a full marathon in under three hours, or in the mountains for 100 miles every week. What is my next move? Probably not staying home until September 30th, so yeah I think I would die. I wonder how people feel when they travel for things other than working at a desk, running elitely or doing mission trips, I wish I had that socail media platform instead… funny. Hopefully my sisters and I can go on a weekend and not do manual labor, I want a sister trip that is calming and relaxing for the three of us, like lounging pajamas and watching our favorite movies somewhere specail. I’m so over running anything over ten miles, I have no idea how I used to do ten miles twice a day or 20 in a row twice on weekends all those years. I think I tried to make the marathon a collegiate sport and normalized natural distance to run, and like it is just not, nor is it cohesive with the nice shoes I can wear to meetings in my adult life. Lately, I feel like I should have just played lacrosse, even though I did some big things in the marathon, idk. Or maybe it's good I did the marathon young so twenty years from now I won’t have to run them! To leisurely stay in shape, not to run well, I would just dance or do stationary bike.