How do you set goals?

When I used to run cross-country, my coach made everyone on the team write down three goals that they had for the season. At the end of the season banquet coach would call a runners name, have them come up to the podium, and then state their three goals out loud, whether that person reached their goals or not. Sometimes the goals were inspiring and attained, and other times someone would be devastated that they missed top places or titles by just a few seconds. We would all just have to laugh together through the process, positive or negative. You were either praised or had tough love on our team, without an in between. One time I placed first in an invitational, and our team placed first, and instead of putting the trophy in the trophy case coach kept it forever; none of us will ever see it again. It was nice while it lasted, everyone loves a trophy, such a funny man. He said I ran like a tiger, but took the trophy.

My cross-country coach taught me to take my ‘first place trophy’, literal or figurative, and throw it away. Then, ask myself, “What can I do to better myself in running and my personal life?” The answer might not even be what you think it should be, you could want to slow down, buy new shoes, have run buns and not baggy shorts, be in a harder race and place lower, or eat more giant sugar cookies with rainbow sprinkles because nothing makes you happier. It was an emotional process, but a very serious life lesson to learn to be a certain way. Everyone has a process to advance in different aspects of life.

In my marathon runner years, I started doing a cozy fire or bonfire with my group of friends every summer/fall. We write down our hopes and dreams and burn them in the fire, because it’s supposed to make them come true. Fingers crossed that us girls had the right idea all these years! We are a fun bunch.

What ways do you make your dreams into plans? Message me your ideas!

One of my most stressful times, was studying for the GRE, Subject GRE and MCAT debating whether I wanted to pursue a PhD or MD. I did all three and scored fine, thank god, because they are very expensive and take such a long time and my friends always drove me because it takes a village... In the car on the way back to our apartment my group of friends were like ‘ let’s call Barbie and tell her’ my mom, and then we would have fun drinks and movie night. All those exams are like running a marathon. I made thousands of flashcards and still have them, with a bookshelf of review books. One of my professors told me not to feel rushed, because he was still trying to find the end of an infinite number they have worked on their entire career. All I ever worked towards, memorizing things and running fast… but who doesn’t? A lot of people are smart and a lot of women run fast. Stay with like-minded people who get what you’re doing in life..

It’s funny, over the summer I took a linear algebra class locally in Syracuse, and there was a problem I didn’t know how to solve, and I emailed my friend from highschool to ask if they knew how to do it, we three-wayed with another old teammate too. He did not remember how to solve that particular thing, but then we started talking about how we actually have similar jobs in software which was really funny. Five minutes after the conversation, something clicked and I figured it all out, went through a lot of graph paper. Math is layers and layers of years, building and building, eventually you turn into the calculator. Running cross-country together to having similar jobs and degrees, half of our cross-country team ended up in the same career path and we still solve each others problems! Competition can make the best friends later in life, because you have so much in common and can say things like, “ You can do it, because you’re a woman!” One of the best things about sports is making lifelong friends. One of the worst things that I have ever been told is, ‘ I don’t agree with women being in this field,’ sometimes you need to beak away from those people, find a way to persist and tell yourself you already did the work to be here; sometimes they’ll be embarrassed if you ask them to explain why. There’s always a way to work around that attitude. Even in running I’ve been told, “ You’re not going to run a full marathon, it’s not correct for women to do,” and all I ever do is run marathons, that attitude is in everything and you just have to work around it. I proved the guy who told me I would never run a marathon wrong (after I already had been doing them for years) time and time again, hahah. Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.